Inverse Proportionality

Law I:
My parents’ enthusiasm in marrying me off inversely proportional to my wanting to get married
Law II:
My wanting to get married inversely proportional to my appearance

Explanation:

Ironic to think that in 2004 when my parents were hell bent on marrying me off fast, I had other plans & marriage didn’t figure anywhere in my list though ‘getting rid of cellulite a.k.a fat cells’ did (which I believe I succeeded). Now I am, finally, in a mind-set to get married & my parents have almost frozen their groom-hunt.

I had lots of unresolved issues in ’04 and ’05. One of them was marriage. With lots of help from friends, books and mainly self-help I’ve succeeded in setting aside, though not casting away, my phobia-like fears about the whole thing. I believe I have adopted a healthier attitude towards marriage.

Now most of my issues are finally resolved and it’s like a huge weight lifted off my head. I feel genuinely happy, smiling more often like how I used to until a few years back. I also find myself dangerously ballooning to the brink of chronic obesity. Shortly ‘hideous’ will be a good adjective to describe me. I confidently say I can scare off any suitable proposals.

Inference: My happiness directly proportional to my worth in weight